Discouraged

Between politics and propoganda, it seems nothing is getting done on marriage equality or DADT. These issues are mired in political in-fighting and religious wackiness.
Personally, I've lost enthusiasm--probably because one of my brothers was just diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Putting things in perspective and giving them time lines, makes me realize as he has sped up the fight for his life, all gay issues seem to be constantly slowed down, put on the back burner--luke warm and shoved aside, hoping that they will go away. And then there's the Dream Act--pass it, please.
Discouraged.

PFLAG with Rabbi David Horowitz as their leader

Rabbi David M. Horowitz was recently elected President of PFLAG, an organization that supports parents, family and friends of LGBT children, and he is dedicatated to moving equality forward. In a recent statement Rabbi Horowitz had this to say:
"I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am to have been elected as PFLAG’s National President. You see, I’m a PFLAG dad. I can still recall vividly the day Toby and I walked into our first meeting at PFLAG Akron, Ohio. I was sure I was the only parent in the world who had a gay child (our daughter had come out about a month before). I don’t know whom I thought birthed gay children. I believed I was the only clergy person to have a gay child. I was confused and knew almost nothing about the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community.
PFLAG introduced me to people who were just like me; parents and even clergy parents. I began my education and moved forward with some fear. What would people think? What would the members of my congregation think? It was all so new.
But on the course of my personal journey, something incredible happened.
As I came out as the parent of a lesbian daughter, so did more than 200 families in my congregation who had a close connection to the LGBT community. As I learned more and found myself around this new and expanding family, I became comfortable with my daughter’s sexual orientation and was able to reach out to others. That ability to connect with people – especially those in the very start of their own learning and acceptance process – keeps me an active part of my local chapter today.
...
Together, PFLAG is the family voice of the LGBT community, and our voice is heard from our meeting rooms, to corporate boardrooms, and to the offices in the White House and on Capitol Hill. I am pleased to be a part of that effort."
Rabbi Horowitz is a true, honest and respected representative of parents of LGBT children. What a great example!

Marriage becoming obsolete?

According to the Associated Press, 4 out of 10 people say marriage is becoming obsolete.
I guess they didn't ask any gay people--who continue to struggle for marriage equality. Funny thing about civil rights, when you have them you don't really appreciate them, I guess.
So if nobody really cares about marriage anymore, why is the on-going quest for the rights of gay people to marry such a big hurdle? Beats me!

Who cares?

When Portia DeRossi told her mother she was gay, her mom said she accepted her, but that she should keep it private. That wasn't the right answer, of course. But sometimes as parents we really don't say the right thing when our child tells us he/she is gay. DeRossi said her mother should have just said, "Who cares," and let her be her true self. "Living in fear is all in your head," said Ricky Martin after finally coming out as a gay man.
Usually, the last to know, we parents haven't experienced the agonizing transition that our children have in coming out--and we have to adjust.  I just wish we could be the first to know instead of the last. We care so much for our children that we should be able to help them come out of the closet--come out with them. We need to openly present ourselves as proud parents of gay children. Then maybe all of the anti-gay stuff would dissipate.
In parenting 101, we should be aware of the possibility of having a gay child and be open and aware and not give our children mixed messages or stereotypical expectations. Whether we have a gay child or not, we need to teach acceptance, then maybe the anti-gay discrimination wouldn't exist.
Maybe then the attitude would become, "Who cares."

Proud mother has to shout it out

It is with great pride that I announce that today is my daughter's record release in New York City. Amy Bezunartea's record is called Restaurants & Bars. A singer/songwriter for many years, she recorded these originals several months ago for Kiam Records, the record label of her girlfriend Jennifer O'Connor, a singer/songwriter herself who has produced several records for other artists on Kiam and who herself recorded many times for Matador Records. These lovely and talented women make a great pair.Go to the link below and read Amy's bio and hear two of her songs. "Doubles," is the gay song of the collection--"My baby she works doubles, I can't help her with her troubles, I've got my own. I'm not alone, not alone,"     www.kiamrecords.com/amybez.html
Amy's songs are pure poetry--sensitive, honest and melancholy.
You can also see some recent interviews and reviews at Kiam Records on Facebook including "An interview with Amy Bezunartea--People, Celebrities, Actresses  & Profiles of Gay, Lesbian..."
http://www.afterellen.com/
I wish I could be in New York tonight to see her debut and join my son and his boyfriend and all of Amy's friends and fans to celebrate her accomplishment.
Like Oprah said: "If everyone who was gay would come out, it could change the world."
Here's to Amy! I am so proud.

As a parent, megachurch pastor comes out to help teenagers

A father of four, Jim Swilley, 52 had to finally come out. If it meant saving the life of a teenager, he was willing to risk his career as a pastor. His former wife--who had always know he was gay--convinced him to make the announcement.
This is a courageous and honorable man.
I hope that only good things come from his announcement. As a parent and a gay man he has a two-fold understanding of the importance of his decision.



Megachurch Pastor Comes Out

News
http://www.advocate.com/

Am I Purple!

After many submissions on marriage equality weren't acceptec by The Arizona Republic, finally my letter to the editor on "Bullying of gay children abhorrent," was published today.
Click on it below, and you can read it and see how bloggers can twist this issue into abuse of tea party people--completely insensitive to the issue.
That made my face as purple as my shirt.
But hey, I'm in Arizona. I heard that there were a lot of people in New York wearing purple.
That's progress!
http://www.azcentral.com/php-bin/clicktrack/email.php/9490146

Bishop Gene Robinson speaks out

It's hard to fight the hatemongering religious nuts who classify gays as an abomination, but one among them, Bishop Gene Robinson, has written an insightful article titled "How Religion is Killing Our Most Vulnerable Youth."
It is a worthwhile read.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bishop-gene-robinson/how-religion-is-killing-o_b_764568.html

The Mormons are at it again

They spent millions backing Proposition 8, now the Mormons have taken their anti-gay campaign to Facebook! So far 4,200 of their brainwashed followers have signed up as fans of Boyd K. Packer. The senior leader of the so-called "Church" is spewing his homophobic rhetoric to his choir of believers.
What happened to God created us equal? What about God created us in his image and likeness?
I just don't get religion.

It's up to parents of gays to defend them

What if one or more of those anti-gay homophobic demostrators has a child who is gay and hiding it? What if? What if that child has to stay closeted because of the venomous feelings of his/her parents. How sad is that!
As anti-gay demonstrators go, Rev. Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church is a disgusting example of the ministry. His own children describe him as a violent, angry man  He teaches them to call gays disgusting, evil freaks. Phelps is the evil freak.
Parents, Parents, Parents. We are the defenders of our gay children. Maybe the public will listen to us. We are the voice that needs to be heard.
Or, are you afraid to admit the fact that you are the parent of a LGBT child? Get over yourself and get your butt out there and protest this discrimiantion of our children.
It is shameful that you are hiding in the shadows. Shameful.

Gays working for non-profits have strong desire to serve others

A few weeks ago, I read an inspiring story in the Huffington Post, by Frank J. Miles, "Come out for Yourself--Stay out for Others." Today I read a recent piece on advocate.com, by Gregory Lewis, which proves Miles' theory. Lewis states that " Analysis of 2000 Census data suggests that smaller gay–straight pay disparities for men in the nonprofit sector, occupational choices, and ability to afford nonprofit employment explain some overrepresentation of partnered gay men but not of partnered lesbians."
"Even after controlling for all these factors, people with same-sex partners remain more likely than married people to work for NPOs, suggesting that a strong desire to serve others is an important factor."
I think that the strong desire to serve others should "stand out" for those of the gay community who have been underserved by society. In spite of that, the gay community is understanding and empathetic to the needs of others.
Good job!

Join We Give A Damn!

Like many parents, I am sickened by hate crimes against, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals. These are our children being punished for who they are. It's heartbreaking and cruel. Cyndi Lauper has made a wonderful contribution to this fight against hate crimes. See the video at wegiveadamn.org and join today.

October 5, 2010 [NEW YORK] – The Give a Damn Campaign, a project of Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund, has released its newest public service announcement focusing on hate crimes based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Ricky Martin, Elton John, Idina Menzel, Rachael Harris and Wanda Sykes speak out about the need to bring an end to these senseless acts of violence and intimidation. The PSA saw its world premiere last night on CNN’s Larry King Live during an episode featuring the topic of anti-gay bullying.
In the U.S. one hate crime takes place approximately every hour of every single day. In 2008, the most recent year in which such data is available, 7,783 incidents of hate crime were reported to the FBI.1 out of every 6 of these hate crimes is committed on the basis of sexual orientation.

Give a damn!

Marriage equality isn't redefining anything

Go to the American Foundation for Equal Rights! Check out this great clip of Cynthia Nixon: “Gay people who want to marry, have no desire to redefine marriage in any way. When women got the right to vote, they did not redefine voting… When African Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table. And that is all we want to do.”
That's a perfect argument! More people are agreeing with marriage equality every day. What are we waiting for? (I guess it's the upcoming elections. Politicians love to use same-sex marriage as a tactical issue to get votes. Do politicians think we are ignorant?)
As Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon put it, gay people just want to marry like everybody else. They're not trying to redefine marriage.

Change is in the air

According to the American Foundation for Equal Rights, "Support of same-sex marriage is very quickly losings its stigma as a political risk."
Doesn't that make you feel better. Read the attached article.

The Media Message Driving the Sudden Shift on Marriage - Wilshire & Washington on Variety.com

Bipartisan support for marriage equality

Who would have imagined--not only support for marriage equality, but bipartisan support and financial support. Wow.

Last night, the American Foundation for Equal Rights (the organization that led the legal battle to challenge Proposition 8) held a fund-raising event in New York City, where they raised $1.2 million.
Ken Mehlman, former Repubican party official who recently announced he was gay, was one of the chairs of the event--an event with huge support from Wall Street.
“It was an honor to be able to bring together so many to support AFER’s historic effort on behalf of the right of all Americans to marry the person they love,” Mr. Mehlman said in an e-mail to DealBook.
Mehlman thanked the many first-time donors and honored their committment to help the cause for equal rights.
Well, that made my day!

Repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" & pass The Dream Act

These is a must! Bury them in the defense bill to get them through, otherwise political infighting will never allow these issues to be resolved.
Today I read about a decorated Air Force Reserve flight nurse who was outed from the military for being lesbian. She said she spent half her life training to take care of wounded soldiers. She claimed that no one in her unit or any of her patients had issue with her sexual orientation.
"I miss being able to be the one that a soldier looks at, and I can do something for him. I'm not complete, and it kills me to not be there," she said.
As for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and the Drem Act, how can our country discriminate against people who have so much to offer our country.
We need both!!!!

A protective mother or not?

For the past week or so, I was house boating on Lake Powell--rugged beauty and serenity. There, at Glen Canyon Dam, the waters and tributaries of the Colorado River are backed up 185 miles creating Lake Powell in the bold sandstone canyons.
Our group included some people I hardly knew, so when a few gay slurs erupted here and there I cringed and remained silent. Frankly, it was the last thing I expected since everyone avoided discussing politics or religion. This was all about fun.
I guess they didn't have any sensitivity to gayness.
Right or wrong, in those close quarters, I made a conscious decision to keep silent about my gay children, my commitment to marriage equality and my advocacy for gay issues. I was so defiantly silent, I never even talked about my family at all.
It made me realize again how tough it is for LGBT individuals to come out over and over again. Also, it made me understand that these same people aren't required to announce their sexuality in every situation.
Everyone has personal issues that they protect in specific situations.
At some point, if I socialize with these people again, I'll surely discuss my gay children and my advocacy for marriage equality. But floating around in a big house boat on Lake Powell with them for a week or so, I felt like a protective mother, quiet against the silent canyon walls. Maybe I'm wrong.

"Come out for yourself--stay out for others"

When Ken Mehlman officially announced he is gay on Wednesday, the former Republican National Committee Chairman from 2005-2007, said he wished he had come out while he was the face of the anti-gay Republican party platform.
Good for Ken Mehlman. How difficult it had to be for him to remain closeted for so long and in such an anti-gay environment. He admitted that the Republican anti-gay strategy is a "purely cynical attempt to manipulate the American public."
With his new freedom, Mehlman plants to join the fight for marriage equality.
Way to go!
On the same subject, in a beautiful piece for the Huffington Post on Aug. 31, Frank J. Miles wrote "Come Out for Yourself--Stay Out for Others," and talks with pride about the difficulty and bravery each LGBT individual has to deal with in coming out. But more importantly, he details how that same determination should be used to make important contributions to society. It is an inspiring read! Check it out on the Huffington Post--it will brighten your day!.

Presbyterians whining in Napa

After a 35-year ministry to gays and lesbians across the country, Presbyterian minister, and 68-year-0ld lesbian , Rev. Jane Adams Spahr was found guilty of violating the Presbyterian constitution and her ordination vows for performing same-sex unions during the time marriage equality was legal in California.
Spahr vowed to appeal the ruling, marching out of Covenant Presbyterian Church in Napa, hand in hand with the couples who testified in her favor.
The six-person panel agreed that Spahr's actions did not disrupt the "peace unity and purity of the church" and gave her accolades for her 35-year ministry to the gay community.
What hypocrisy! It's nauseating.
"The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority."--Ralph W. Sockman
The minority is courageous and deserves the simple honor and acceptance of tolerance from the majority. Stop your whining and deal with it!

Marriage equality should be just a normal part of American life

Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the ultra-conservative co-host of "The View," said recently, "I actually support gay marriage."
Her viewpoint was refreshing as she offered sincere support for same-sex unions.
To me, it feels like the hard edges of immovable opinion against marriage equality may be softening and moving toward acceptance. I certainly hope so.
This has been a long and tiresome battle for the gay community. Equality shouldn't be such a brutal fight in America.
Now, it's all about patience and persistence to make marriage equality a reality and just a normal part of American life.