Judge Walker is about to make the decision on overturning Proposition 8!
We all know that marriage is a basic and fundamental civil right. Your voice can be heard by going to The American Foundation for Equal Rights web site at www.equalrightsfoundation.org and signing up for the updates.
Also, text "Equal" to 69866. I just did.
Overturning Proposition 8 would be another huge step toward marriage equality.
Your support is important.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Gay Guilt
So what about parents who play the guilt game by blaming one another for their child being gay?
"You babied him too much," the father says.
"You never played sports with him," the mother says.
"You got her involved in too many sports," the mother says.
"Well, you are such a feminist, this is what you did to her," the father says.
It goes on and on.
Is it necessary? Is it stereotypical? Is it part of that nature and nurture theory?
Maybe it's just part of the parental pathway to realization and acceptance.
Why does a gay child have to feel guilty? why do the parents have to feel guilty?
It's all so ridiculous.
Do you agonize or argue over the other genetic attributes of your child?
We should not cast a shadow on our children or ourselves. If we do, then we have something to be guilty about.
"You babied him too much," the father says.
"You never played sports with him," the mother says.
"You got her involved in too many sports," the mother says.
"Well, you are such a feminist, this is what you did to her," the father says.
It goes on and on.
Is it necessary? Is it stereotypical? Is it part of that nature and nurture theory?
Maybe it's just part of the parental pathway to realization and acceptance.
Why does a gay child have to feel guilty? why do the parents have to feel guilty?
It's all so ridiculous.
Do you agonize or argue over the other genetic attributes of your child?
We should not cast a shadow on our children or ourselves. If we do, then we have something to be guilty about.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Marriage equality is the correct pursuit
As I learn to be an advocate, I am taught by my mentors that I should use the term "marriage equality" in my pursuit for just that--marriage equality. I thank Tim and Louie for correcting me on the proper terminology.
And they are right. Marriage equality is exactly what we are seeking. It is not a separate or different kind of marriage. It is marriage between two people who love and care for one another "til death do us part." Amen. It makes it even more profound and more important for it to become a reality.
Marriage equality takes away all the silly and stupid stereotypes that clog the minds of people and make them categorize marriage. It's so simple--so why is equality so hard!
I am not gay. I don't know what if feels like to be gay. But I sure as hell know what it feels like to be the mother of two gay children. And I want them to have "equality" in every way.
Thank you Tim and Louie for teaching me that marriage equality is the proper terminology for what we seek. It elevates relationships to the proper level.
And they are right. Marriage equality is exactly what we are seeking. It is not a separate or different kind of marriage. It is marriage between two people who love and care for one another "til death do us part." Amen. It makes it even more profound and more important for it to become a reality.
Marriage equality takes away all the silly and stupid stereotypes that clog the minds of people and make them categorize marriage. It's so simple--so why is equality so hard!
I am not gay. I don't know what if feels like to be gay. But I sure as hell know what it feels like to be the mother of two gay children. And I want them to have "equality" in every way.
Thank you Tim and Louie for teaching me that marriage equality is the proper terminology for what we seek. It elevates relationships to the proper level.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Our gay children are our first priority
One thing I've learned from gay individuals, whose input has inspired me, is that our job as parents is even more important than we realize. Though I think it is imperative that we parents be the voice of gay marriage, I find that our unconditional love and acceptance is more personally appreciated by our children than our representing them on a political platform toward same-sex marriage.
We still have to be in the battle. We still have to continue to fight for them and represent their needs in society--their rights to equality and their rights to same-sex marriage.
But more than anything, we have to care about them. They are our children. They are our joy.
We still have to be in the battle. We still have to continue to fight for them and represent their needs in society--their rights to equality and their rights to same-sex marriage.
But more than anything, we have to care about them. They are our children. They are our joy.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
When you change, the world changes with you
As an openly-supportive mother of gay children, I have made a transition that gives me respect in my circle of family and friends. Complete openness is disarming and freeing. And, believe me, when you change, the world changes with you.
No longer do I see someone smack a spouse who is making a disparaging anti-gay remark and give him that look, then watch the cartoon bubble seemingly appear above his head: "Oops, I forgot, Pat's kids are gay."
There are no gay slurs. It's no longer "the gossip" whispered behind my back.
When a secret isn't a secret anymore, what is it? Poof, it evaporates into reality and acceptance.
I talk freely, openly and proudly about my children and their partners--just like everybody else. Why did I ever have the feeling that I couldn't? They are equally loved and respected and enjoyed by family and friends.
As parents of gays, I guess we allow ourselves to be backed into a closet of our own sometimes.
Openness is not confession--it's freedom. I know, nobody called to tell you their kids were heterosexual, so why do we have to go there. We just do!
If you haven't done it. It's time. Remember, when you change, watch your world change with you.
And really, it's bigger than you and me. As the world changes with us, maybe the attitude and respect for the gay community will change, too. Soon the reality of same-sex marriage will come to pass, and, again, everyone will wonder what all the fuss was about.
No longer do I see someone smack a spouse who is making a disparaging anti-gay remark and give him that look, then watch the cartoon bubble seemingly appear above his head: "Oops, I forgot, Pat's kids are gay."
There are no gay slurs. It's no longer "the gossip" whispered behind my back.
When a secret isn't a secret anymore, what is it? Poof, it evaporates into reality and acceptance.
I talk freely, openly and proudly about my children and their partners--just like everybody else. Why did I ever have the feeling that I couldn't? They are equally loved and respected and enjoyed by family and friends.
As parents of gays, I guess we allow ourselves to be backed into a closet of our own sometimes.
Openness is not confession--it's freedom. I know, nobody called to tell you their kids were heterosexual, so why do we have to go there. We just do!
If you haven't done it. It's time. Remember, when you change, watch your world change with you.
And really, it's bigger than you and me. As the world changes with us, maybe the attitude and respect for the gay community will change, too. Soon the reality of same-sex marriage will come to pass, and, again, everyone will wonder what all the fuss was about.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Show your support
I just added my name to "Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. " Add your name too!
http://my.barack.obama.com/RepealDADT-share.
Then I added my name and support to "Freedom to Marry." It's a gay, non-gay coalition located at http://www.freedomtomarry.org/.
These are grass-roots efforts that get the public support behind our causes. We have to participate or our voices are silent--especially as mothers and parents of gays. Our voices need to be heard!
Think about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." For example, approximately 13,500 service personnel have been outed because of this useless policy. In the beginning of the Iraq war, 320 service people who spoke Arabic and Farsi were expelled because of their sexual orientation. Not only is this ridiculous, it is harmful to our national security. My looming question is how will a gay person enlist in the military with this new approach??? Do you check the gay box on the application?
On another front, "Freedom to Marry" is an impressive, honest and clear presentation of the support for the rights of same-sex couples to marry. It is a commendable effort and needs our participation.
So, show your support!
http://my.barack.obama.com/RepealDADT-share.
Then I added my name and support to "Freedom to Marry." It's a gay, non-gay coalition located at http://www.freedomtomarry.org/.
These are grass-roots efforts that get the public support behind our causes. We have to participate or our voices are silent--especially as mothers and parents of gays. Our voices need to be heard!
Think about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." For example, approximately 13,500 service personnel have been outed because of this useless policy. In the beginning of the Iraq war, 320 service people who spoke Arabic and Farsi were expelled because of their sexual orientation. Not only is this ridiculous, it is harmful to our national security. My looming question is how will a gay person enlist in the military with this new approach??? Do you check the gay box on the application?
On another front, "Freedom to Marry" is an impressive, honest and clear presentation of the support for the rights of same-sex couples to marry. It is a commendable effort and needs our participation.
So, show your support!
Monday, May 24, 2010
The Milk man may get his day
We all know the story, or have seen the movie, about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to win elected office in a major U.S. city--a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors.
In 1978, when he and Mayor George Moscone were assassinated at City Hall by former supervisor Dan White, nobody expected that murder to have the far-reaching significance it still holds.
This past weekend, commemorative events were held across the country to observe what would have been Milk's 80th birthday. Californians are still trying to establish May 22 as Harvey Milk Day.
"The creation of the first official day of recognition for any openly gay person in the history of this country has really touched people, many of whom have been closeted in life or faced rejection or government discrimination which continues to this day," said Geoffrey Kors, executive director of the gay-rights group Equality California.
I hope there is a Harvey Milk Day. I hope parents of gays support it and continue to "come out of the closet" themselves and fight for the rights of their children. We're more powerful than we realize.
In 1978, when he and Mayor George Moscone were assassinated at City Hall by former supervisor Dan White, nobody expected that murder to have the far-reaching significance it still holds.
This past weekend, commemorative events were held across the country to observe what would have been Milk's 80th birthday. Californians are still trying to establish May 22 as Harvey Milk Day.
"The creation of the first official day of recognition for any openly gay person in the history of this country has really touched people, many of whom have been closeted in life or faced rejection or government discrimination which continues to this day," said Geoffrey Kors, executive director of the gay-rights group Equality California.
I hope there is a Harvey Milk Day. I hope parents of gays support it and continue to "come out of the closet" themselves and fight for the rights of their children. We're more powerful than we realize.
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