The gay gene

So, what genetic link in your family is responsible for your child or children being gay? We've all wondered about it. The other night I had this discussion with a visiting relative who refuses to believe that her side of the family could harbor any gay genes. Her denial irked me in a way that made me furious and defensive. Then I calmed down and thought--who cares! Why does it have to be a blame game? I firmly believe sexual orientation is an inherited trait and am merely curious about the genetic link--not accusational. What is she so afraid of?
Maybe someday we will be able to claim family credit for the gay gene the same way we take credit for the genetic link to I.Q., creativity, talent and more. So there!

Lesbian lawmaker a surrogate mother

In of all places--Utah--Rep. Christine Johnson, D-Salt Lake City, announced she is carrying a baby for two gay men. Even though the men were married in California when gay marriage was legal, they were unable to adopt in Utah. Johnson offered to become artificially impregnated with sperm from one of the men, and the baby is due on June 21. She did this at no cost. Usually, hiring a surrogate costs as much as $100,000, though the men will pick up all medical costs. She predicts they will be wonderful parents.
Johnson, 41, who has a 17-year-old daughter from a two-year marriage said she empathized with their desire to become parents. "I'm immeasurably grateful to be a mother," she said.

Portugal to become sixth country in Europe to permit gay marriage

Portugal--a predominantly Catholic country-- passed a bill last week to allow gay marriage. Though the bill was supported by parties on the left, their conservative president is expected to ratify it. The first gay marriage ceremonies could take place as early as April.
Oops, that's just a month before Pope Benedict XVI is scheduled for his official visit.

Ages and ages and attitude changes

My open support of gay rights recently led to a discussion with a couple from the older generation of lesbian women whose own mothers either ignored or did not acknowledge their gayness. As a matter of fact, one felt her own flesh-and-blood mother was embarrassed of her and simply denied the fact that she was gay in order to protect her social position or image--or whatever. How sad, ridiculous and hurtful. Her mother never even talked with her about her being gay. Hiding or ignoring is the biggest sin mothers or fathers of gay children can commit. What kind of scars do many older gay people carry with them--silently accepting their anguished position. How can you allow some fake societal expectation to perpetuate your own feelings toward your child.
I certainly hope we have changed through the years and now offer strength and acceptance to the younger generation of gays. We should honor the older generation who have unfairly endured the burden of silence and discrimination--yet led wonderful and productive lives with their partners in spite of it. They are the examples of commitment that helped to power the ongoing efforts toward same-sex marriage, and we thank them.

Gay and lesbian chambers of commerce

I wasn't aware of the many gay and lesbian chambers of commerce around the country until I read about the local Phoenix chamber in my morning newspaper and researched the many groups across the country--including the national organization.
Today's Arizona Republic read: "The Greater Phoenix Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce donated $30,000 in toys to Phoenix Children's Hospital's child-life program. The chamber collected more than 2,500 toys from its members, area retailers and other donors during its holiday drive, organizers said." That's great!
These organizations are an asset to many communities and surely have a respected voice in the quest for same-sex marriage.

Movement underway to ban divorce in California

To fight the hypocrisy of California's Proposition 8, John Marcotte, a Sacramento web designer, has started a campaign to make divorce illegal in California.
So, all those who vowed "Til death do us part," would be stuck with each other!
Since Proposition 8 supposedly protects the sanctity of traditional marriage, Marcotte thinks voters should have no issue with banning divorce. Such irony. This is a seriously satirical undertaking that makes Proposition 8 look even more nonsensical.
Marcotte, a 38-year-old married, Catholic, Democrat and father of two (who voted against Proposition 8) needs 694,354 signatures by March 22 to make this happen. At a recent "ban divorce" rally he held in Sacramento, some people sported signs that read, "You too can vote to take away civil rights from someone."
Currently, the U.S. divorce rate is almost 50 percent, but oddly enough, California is one of the six states that doesn't report divorce rates. Wonder why? How high could they be?
California has always been a progressive state, and "for better or worse" Proposition 8 makes them look ridiculous.
So, here's to "Til death do us part," California! No more divorce for you!
Oh, I forgot. You can always get annulments like the Catholics. That's enough hypocrisy for one day!

"The free uniting of two people"

When 2009 began, I never expected to become an accidental activist for gay marriage, but now I am a devoted advocate. I'm looking forward to the challenges of 2010 with great hopes toward the inevitability of gay marriage nationwide.
As we follow the pathway to the goal of civil rights for same-sex marriage, we have to look at the gains--and setbacks--of this decade.
When Gavin Newsom, San Francisco's mayor, approved same-sex marriage in February, 2004, nearly 3,200 same-sex couples wed within 10 days. But that didn't last, and the marriages were voided.
Then, four years later on June 16, 2008, the California supreme court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage. Finally! But that didn't last, though the marriages remain valid. Behind the scenes the religious zealots garnered enough signatures--and money--to put a constitutional amendment on the upcoming ballot--and on November 5, 2008, Proposition 8 destroyed same-sex marriage in California once again.
Newsom said the issue "is about civil marriages, not about religious marriages. ... We're not telling religious institutions what to do." Back to square one.
Now, on to Massachusetts. They became the first state to approve gay marriage in 2004, and now five years later, more than 11,000 gay and lesbian couples have married in the state.
Connecticut, Vermont and even Iowa approved gay marriage. Same-sex marriages will begin in New Hampshire in January, 2010, and should begin in Washington, D.C. in the next few months (unless some underhanded scheme evolves).
On the world stage, only seven countries allow gay marriage: Canada, Spain South Africa, Sweden, Norway, the Netherlands and Belgium. Gordon Brown, Britain's prime minister wants British civil partnerships to be recognized across the EU--including Eastern Europe.
On December 21, 2009, Mexico City's assembly cheered in a bill 39-20 to approve same-sex marriage, which includes allowing adoption. Supporters yelled, "Yes we could! Yes we could!" Mexico City's civil code is now calling marriage "the free uniting of two people." How great is that!
This week in Buenos Aires, Argentina, two gay men, who had previously been denied to marry there, were joined in an informal ceremony in the capital of Argentina's Tierra del Fuego province.
Progress has been made and attitudes are changing. As an ordinary mom of two gay children who became an accidental activist this year, I hope that more mothers, parents, gays, straights--anyone with the desire to see the rights of same-sex marriage become acknowledged and approved--join in and represent a sound humanitarian voice for a long-awaited change and make gay marriage a well-deserved civil right--"the free uniting of two people."