Have you really "come out" as the parent of a gay child?

Note: This is an older post that I reprinted because it is personal and I thought important to other mothers of gays.

When I first began blogging as an advocate for gay marriage, I wasn't sure I had a voice or a platform that I could sustain. My daughter, Amy, was the inspiration for the blog, and, frankly, I was a little nervous about putting myself out there. But it's been quite cathartic!
For one thing, over the past few months, I've realized that I had never totally "come out" as a parent of gay children. Of course, acceptance had happened years earlier, but it was private and protective--held closely with family and friends. Back then, my kids didn't want me to be "open" about their "gayness" anyway. So I was silent.
Until recently, I didn't know I had allowed society to cast me as a second-class parent. I had accepted the back seat on the bus with the other parents of gays--that quiet spot where we know that our children are treated differently and unfairly, and we can't do anything about it.
You know that place. It's where you hear gay slurs, gay jokes, gay innuendo--that gut punch you internalize in silence. Why are we supposed to accept that? I just can't do it anymore! Now I'm braver.
The other day when a friend said, "My gay neighbors invited us to a party," that was the first time I ever said, "Don't they have names?" Then I mentioned, "You wouldn't tell me your heterosexual neighbors invited you to a party." But, then I asked, "Why do people always refer to gay couples that way?" She rolled her eyes in embarrassment and claimed from now on she would refer to them by their names. "They are good friends, and it never occurred to me what I was doing."
We need to make people aware of the sensibilities connected with "gay etiquette." Is there a Miss Manners of gay etiquette? Maybe elevated treatment or reference will push away some of the ridiculous notions that there is a different set of rules for gays. There shouldn't be. They deserve the same rights as everyone else.
So it's time to "come out" as full-fledged parents of gay children and speak up.

Note: Other older posts I recommend are: Jan 9, 2010: Ages and Ages and Attitude Changes; Nov. 23, 2009, The Last to Know--Acceptance and a Sense of the Future; Nov. 6, 2009, Mothers--The Voice of Gay Marriage.