Thursday, December 31, 2009

"The free uniting of two people"

When 2009 began, I never expected to become an accidental activist for gay marriage, but now I am a devoted advocate. I'm looking forward to the challenges of 2010 with great hopes toward the inevitability of gay marriage nationwide.
As we follow the pathway to the goal of civil rights for same-sex marriage, we have to look at the gains--and setbacks--of this decade.
When Gavin Newsom, San Francisco's mayor, approved same-sex marriage in February, 2004, nearly 3,200 same-sex couples wed within 10 days. But that didn't last, and the marriages were voided.
Then, four years later on June 16, 2008, the California supreme court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage. Finally! But that didn't last, though the marriages remain valid. Behind the scenes the religious zealots garnered enough signatures--and money--to put a constitutional amendment on the upcoming ballot--and on November 5, 2008, Proposition 8 destroyed same-sex marriage in California once again.
Newsom said the issue "is about civil marriages, not about religious marriages. ... We're not telling religious institutions what to do." Back to square one.
Now, on to Massachusetts. They became the first state to approve gay marriage in 2004, and now five years later, more than 11,000 gay and lesbian couples have married in the state.
Connecticut, Vermont and even Iowa approved gay marriage. Same-sex marriages will begin in New Hampshire in January, 2010, and should begin in Washington, D.C. in the next few months (unless some underhanded scheme evolves).
On the world stage, only seven countries allow gay marriage: Canada, Spain South Africa, Sweden, Norway, the Netherlands and Belgium. Gordon Brown, Britain's prime minister wants British civil partnerships to be recognized across the EU--including Eastern Europe.
On December 21, 2009, Mexico City's assembly cheered in a bill 39-20 to approve same-sex marriage, which includes allowing adoption. Supporters yelled, "Yes we could! Yes we could!" Mexico City's civil code is now calling marriage "the free uniting of two people." How great is that!
This week in Buenos Aires, Argentina, two gay men, who had previously been denied to marry there, were joined in an informal ceremony in the capital of Argentina's Tierra del Fuego province.
Progress has been made and attitudes are changing. As an ordinary mom of two gay children who became an accidental activist this year, I hope that more mothers, parents, gays, straights--anyone with the desire to see the rights of same-sex marriage become acknowledged and approved--join in and represent a sound humanitarian voice for a long-awaited change and make gay marriage a well-deserved civil right--"the free uniting of two people."

Sunday, December 27, 2009

In a word

What's in the word "gay?" Does that word have negative power over parents? It shouldn't.
That's why we have to be more vocal and not let the word "gay" overpower us and force us to stand aside silently on the issue of civil rights for our children. We have to verbalize our feelings and let the word "gay" be powerful for us.
In one of those long list of inspirational quotes you see as each new year approaches, I read one that applies to and inspires our cause for civil and marital rights for gays.
"It is not a question as to who is right, but what is right."

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A good "old-fashioned" Christmas song

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yule-tide "gay"
From now on our troubles will be miles away.
Through the years
We all will be together
If the "fates" allow
So, have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Another step toward our common goal

On Tues., Dec. 15, the District of Columbia's City Council voted to legalize gay marriage in the nation's capital. D.C.'s mayor signed the bill today! Congress does have a final say on laws passed in Washington, D.C., but we hope there is no problem looming and this civil right will be granted at last. If all goes well, same sex marriage will be in effect in the nation's capital by March, 2010.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

A good week for gays in politics

This week, the California Assembly unanimously picked its first openly gay speaker. Congratulations to John Perez, who will now hold one of the most powerful positions in state government.
On Saturday, December 12, Annise Parker, 53, was elected Houston's first openly gay mayor. Houston is the fourth-largest city in the country with a population of 2.2 million. Of that population, it is estimated that 60,000 identify themselves as gay or lesbian. Congraulations to the new mayor who received 53.6 percent of the vote.

Friday, December 11, 2009

"Rocket Man" rejected

In September, when Elton John met Lev, a 14-month old boy in a Ukrainian home for HIV-positive children, he made plans to adopt the child.
As it turned out, the adoption was rejected because the musician was said to be too old and not married--even though in the UK his civil union with David Furnish is considered marriage.
Is it because he is gay?
What if Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt showed up to adopt a Ukrainian child? What would happen? They're not married. I'm guessing they would be approved.
According to Furnish, Elton John was devastated by the rejection. But because Sir Elton John is the real deal and truly committed to the well-being of Lev, he put aside the obvious discrimination and intends to support Lev and his brother and assure them the best health care, education and family options possible!
As far as I'm concerned, "I think it's going to be a long long time" before Elton John gives any of those Ukrainian naysayers an autograph or concert tickets, but Lev and his brother will enjoy front row seats and a good life because of Elton John.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

New York State Sen. Savino--a strong voice for marital equality

Sen. Savino says it all in her eloquent speech prior to the failed vote which would have made gay marriage a civil right in New York. This unfortunate loss will only give proponents of gay marriage across the country even more determination. The voice of mothers is clearly necessary.
Watch and listen to Sen. Savino. I don't think she's going to sit back and take this defeat lightly.

Senator Savino speaks on Marriage Equality

Friday, December 4, 2009

Bible-based bigotry shuts the book on New York's gay marriage bill--for now

Of all places--New York! I thought their lawmakers were more sophisticated and open minded. I was stunned that the gay marriage bill had failed. According to the Associated Press, Gov. David Patterson, described the defeat as one of the saddest days in his 20 years of public service. He claimed senators who actually supported the bill "didn't have the intestinal fortitude to vote for it."
"I wasn't expecting betrayal," said an angry and disappointed Sen. Thomas Duane, the openly gay Manhattan Democrat who sponsored the bill.
Sen. Eric Adams, a Democrat from Brooklyn asked the group to set aside their religious beliefs and vote for the bill. "When I walk through these doors, my Bible stays out," he said.
Enter the bible thumpers--led by Sen. Ruben Diaz, a Republican and a conservative minister from the Bronx, who stated, "You should carry your Bible all the time."
In spite of supporters with personal interest in the measure and comparisons to racism and the holocaust, the bill failed to pass by 8 votes--a huge letdown for the gay community and supporters of gay marriage. We were counting on New York!
The only thing that made me feel better was remembering what happened on a street corner near Syracuse University campus a few weeks earlier. A woman dressed in an ankle-length corduroy skirt stood holding a sign that read "Homosexuality is sin. Christ can set you free!" When a student saw her hateful sign he got an idea that would hopefully make her feel as uncomfortable as she had made him feel. A few minutes later, he was back standing beside her with a big sign that read "Corduroy skirts are a sin." (The photos are all over the internet. Just google corduroy skirts are a sin to see the photos and read the dialogue.) That puts it into perspective for me. We need a social movement like "Mothers for Gay Marriage--nothing political, governmental or religious--in order for same-sex marriage to be approved!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Gay marriage is about rights--not rings

Every time I witness one of those nauseating commercials about diamond engagement rings, I cringe--especially the one where the girl takes her boyfriend back just because he shows up at the door with a big diamond ring. Those advertisements diminish marriage and commitment. In reality, commitment is the true shining jewel of a relationship. And many same-sex relationships exemplify strong commitment. Gay couples deserve the right to marry, because gay marriage is about rights. Not rings.
Moms, we can't turn our backs on the quest for gay rights. Not this time. Not any more.
I firmly believe the right to gay marriage is inevitable and that mothers will be the kind and gentle force to help achieve that reality.
And when it happens, the naysayers can huddle in hollow discrimination--or maybe go out and buy diamond rings so they can feel better about themselves.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Talented transsexual sportswriter sadly takes own life

When I opened my Sunday issue of The Arizona Republic, I stared into a story that gave me chills. Mike Penner, 52, a sportswriter for the Los Angeles Times for more than 25 years reportedly committed suicide. It was in April, 2007, in an article headlined "Old Mike, New Christine," that he revealed to his readers that he was a transsexual.
"It has taken more than 40 years, a million tears and hundred of hours of soul-wrenching therapy for me to work up the courage to type these words," Penner wrote.
Though the announcement shocked many of his readers, the Times was supportive. Penner said that going public with his transition was the hardest thing he had ever done.
"How do you go about sharing your most important truth, one you spent a lifetime trying to keep deeply buried, to a world that has grown familiar and comfortable with your facade?" he asked.
This story was heartbreaking. An extremely talented person--who did not deserve the personal suffering he endured--reached such desperation that he took his own life.
I hope that his truth and bravery will help to honor his memory in a way that will help other people NOT to keep their truth buried simply because those in their world are familiar with a facade.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The last to know. Acceptance and a sense of the future

As Thanksgiving approaches and motherly sentiments run high, I ponder the reasons why I felt hurt that I was the last to know that my children were gay. Why did it take them each so long to tell me? Does this happen to most parents? Maybe they were hoping I would figure it out for myself. But I didn't. Eventually, they had to tell me. And everybody else already knew!
Maybe their inner turmoil kept the truth bottled up. Maybe society has discriminated against gays so severely, that they are afraid we will be disappointed. Do they keep it from parents because they think they're protecting us? We spend our lives trying to protect them, so maybe that's why "the last to know" hits so hard. By the time I found out each of my children were gay, their dad had died, and I was alone in my acceptance as I created a new sense of the future.
I watched an Oprah show once where her guests were all gay and discussed how and when they told their parents. Carson Kressley admitted that as "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" was about to air, he knew he finally had to go home and tell his mother--before she saw him on television. The conversation went sort of like this: "Mom, I have to tell you something. I'm gay." Her answer: "Newsflash!"
So there is the flip side of the realization coin. Why, if she said, "Newsflash," didn't she bring up the subject with her son years earlier? Obviously she had accepted it long before. Being gay is not a stigma, and if anyone should know early in the realization, it is parents. I hope that more gay children feel they can discuss this with their parents sooner and parents can do the same if they think their child is gay. Acceptance is easier--the sooner we know.
I feel sad that it's so difficult for our children to go through the process of realization and self-acceptance about being gay--and they need us. Wanda Sykes says it's easier to be Black than gay. You don't just wake one morning and tell your mom, "I'm feeling a little Black today."
Most importantly, we love and respect our gay children and will fight for their rights. We just don't want to be the last to know! Have you had to change the "rubber stamp" expectations that come with each child--marriage, children--that sense of the future we want for them? Well stop and realize that those very expectations are the rights of each and every one of our gay children, and it's time those rights are acknowledged. So this Thanksgiving, be thankful for our gay children and hopeful that we mothers can be a driving force toward gay marriage.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Diocese of Phoenix gave $50,000 to defeat Maine's gay marriage law

What possessed the Catholic Diocese of Phoenix to contribute $50,000 to help defeat gay marriage in Maine? Even the Mormons, who spent a bundle in California, didn't toss any cash at this effort. In Maine, the Diocese of Portland donated $300,000, and other dioceses--including Phoenix--donated $250,000. So, it looks like the Catholics threw enough money at this effort to influence the twistable minds of voters to favor the referendum which on Nov. 3 overturned a state law approving gay marriage. What a disappointment!
As a resident of the Phoenix area, I can't believe that--in this economy with so many local people in need--the bishop would approve such an expenditure. But Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted has been tough on gays. When nine priests in the diocese signed a document affirming gay rights, he insisted they withdraw their support. The one priest who refused was suspended from his duties.
Raised Catholic, I remember reciting from my Baltimore Catechism as a child at Sacred Heart School in Tucson. One of the recitations went like this: "God made us in his image and likeness." Interesting! I guess it should have read "God made us in his image and likeness--except for gays."

Monday, November 16, 2009

New film documents Mormons role in Proposition 8

I just watched 8: The Mormon Proposition trailer on YouTube. The film is very personal for filmmaker, Reed Cowan, who is gay and Mormon. His clashes with his family and their uncompromising beliefs made him realize that other gay mormons were surely having the same problem. But, it was when his own sister supported the gay marriage ban in California, that he decided to pursue the documentary.
Though the documentary is still in production, this trailer has been seen by some 70,000 viewers in the first 3 days online.
When I watched it, I was infuriated and incensed with the Mormon leadership and their inhumane and chilling quest against gay rights--tears streamed down my face watching the gay people who don't deserve this treatment. It was like a knife to the heart.
The Mormons put up 75 percent of the money used to defeat gay marriage in California! Their arrogance and discriminatory tactics are just plain evil.
As a mother, I can't imagine putting the theocracy of mormonism above the love and acceptance of my own child! What kind of cult brainwashing is that?

New York Governor David Patterson on gay marriage as a civil rights issue

Although some black leaders don't like the comparison, Gov. Patterson believes that gay people face a civil rights battle comparable to what black Americans faced. "I've wanted to be someone in the African-American community who recognizes the new civil rights struggle that is being undertaken by gay and lesbian and transgendered people," he said.
David Patterson has a long history of supporting same-sex marriage and a genuine comfort level with the gay community. As a youngster, he and his brother would stay with family friends, Uncle Stanley and Uncle Ronald in Harlem when their parents went out of town. A gay couple, Patterson said his uncles helped him with his spelling, read to him and played cards with him.
"I was raised in a culture that understood the different ways that people conduct their lives. And I feel very proud of it."
"All the time when I'd hear Uncle Stanley and Uncle Ronald and my parents talk, they were talking about the civil rights struggle. In those days, I knew I wanted to grow up and feel that I could change something."
Gov. Patterson is correct in fighting for the civil rights of gay people. Gay marriage has nothing to do with government or religion. It is an inherent civil right, and I applaud Gov. Patterson for his fearless stand.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Episcopal Church and a wise 85-year-old woman who supports gay rights

In her blog, "The Raving Pundit: How I got so smart in my old age," this brilliant blogger discusses the Episcopal church and gay marriage. "I have been an Episcopalian for 85 years," said June Key. "When Gene Robinson was ordained a Bishop, I called my rector and told him it was one of the proudest days of my church life."
She noted that at the 2009 annual meeting of Episcopal Bishops, they voted to approve ordaining more openly gay clergy and to bless the union of same-sex marriage. And it was a strong approval--l04 in favor and 30 against. She recalled how the opposition spewed fire when Gene Robinson became the first openly gay Bishop and wondered why so many people have misread God's message of love and acceptance.
"Try to cleanse your mind of intolerance and your heart of hatred and replace them with knowledge and love," she said.
So today we honor June Key, an 85-year-old "Mother for Gay Marriage."

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Catholic hypocrisy at its worst

Just when Salt Lake City Mormons took their "baby steps" toward gay rights, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Washington is trying to crucify gays with threats of local social service cuts if the same-sex marriage law is passed.
Talk about hypocrisy! What a hideous insult coming from a church reeling in law suits for decades of covered-up sexual abuse by its priests.
According to The New York Times, Catholic Charities social services arm serves 68,000 local residents, including about a third of the city's homeless people, who go to city-owned shelters managed by the church. It also provides adoption and health care assistance. In the last three years, Catholic Charities has received more than $8.2 million in city contracts.
The bill has the support of the Washington mayor and is expected to pass and includes a measure that would not require religious organizations like the Catholic Church to perform same-sex marraiges.
What gay couple would want to get married in the Catholic Church anyway?
As a person who was raised Catholic and attended 12 years of parochial school, (and sent my two gay children to Catholic school) I am sickened and ashamed.
I always hope that some morning when the Pope slips into his red Prada shoes that he'll step into this century and lead the Catholic Church into a modern ideology that accepts homosexuality. In the meantime, you won't be seeing me at Mass.

Friday, November 13, 2009

A 10-year-old boy stands up for gay rights!

What makes some kids so smart, sensitive and nondiscriminatory? It's the way they are raised, of course. What about our gay children who were also raised that way and are now discriminated against?
In the article posted here, this 10-year-old boy refused to say the pledge of allegiance because
gay people do not experience "liberty and justice for all." He understands that gays are denied certain civil rights and sees that as unacceptable.
Okay mothers, why should our smart, sensitive, nondiscriminatory children be denied their rights? What we want is acceptance. Gay marriage is a right! That doesn't mean every gay couple has to run out and get married, but they must have the right. Relationships are relationships. Marriage is not a requirement. It is a right.
Who in our society should have the authority NOT to allow gay marriage? Beats me?
My favorite Wanda Sykes quote says it all: "If you don't believe in same sex marriage, don't marry someone of the same sex."
http://www.arktimes.com/articles/articleviewer.aspx?ArticleID=2f5d7a3b-c72a-446b-8d20-3823aa79c021

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

NY Governor favors gay marriage

Gov. David Patterson of New York wants same-sex marriage legalized. He called it "an issue that touches on the very core of our citizenship." Now there's a man with vision.
Disappointed with the defeat in Maine, like we all were, Patterson hopefully sees New York voters as too savvy to fall for the ridiculous fear mongering campaigns plotted in Maine and California. Their propaganda insinuates that if gay marriage were legal, students would be going on field trips to Lesbian weddings or reading books about gay couples. Confrontational politics is rampant in our country. Talk about brainwashing. Why do people fall for this? Let's face it, today's kids are smarter than we think. They live in a diverse world and they know it!
Maybe if New York legalizes gay marriage, my family can benefit. With both of my children and their partners living in New York, it could make marriage a possibility for them--and a joy for me as a mother. Mothers for gay marriage--as Gov. Patterson called it, "an issue that touches on the very core of our citizenship.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Wanda Sykes--gay and a mother, says it well!

I love to quote comedian Wanda Sykes.
"If you don't believe in same sex marriage, don't marry someone of the same sex."
Wanda Sykes and her wife Alex are the mothers of twins--a boy and girl. Way to go girls!

Frank Bruni's mom

In Frank Bruni's beautiful memoir "Born Round," the New York Times restaurant critic has written a wonderful book--on so many levels. I didn't know he was gay until I read the memoir, and his relationship with his mother stood out to me, not only as insightful, loving and fun, but unquestionably accepting. Unfortunately, he lost her to cancer much too soon. But I bet she would have been an advocate for the cause of gay marriage. Read the book. You'll love it!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

An 86-year-old "dad" for gay marriage

This video honors the lifetime beliefs of a WWII veteran and shows his convictions in favor of gay marriage. So today, "Mothers for Gay Marriage" gives a tribute to this dad!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/21/philip-spooner-video-wwii_n_329446.html

Friday, November 6, 2009

Mothers--The Voice of Gay Marriage

As a mother of two gay children, I've finally had it! Yes, I've had it! I can't sit back and let them be denied the right to marry. And I know there are tons of moms out there who feel the same way I do. That's why we can be the force of change. Why do we have to have people VOTING to give our children what should be a right? Why do we have to sit back and LET this ridiculous outdated concept of "marriage is between a man and a woman" continue.

It's time we step out of the shadows and become the voice of gay marriage. Hey, don't mess with moms who have an agenda. Mothers are the greatest vehicle for change, and we mothers of gays know what it feels like to have our children treated unfairly and they deserve the right to marry their life partners. I've had it, and I hope you've had it too. Let's work together to fight for gay marriage. I'm proud of my children, and I want to put my love and respect for them to work. Mothers for Gay Marriage!!! You bet. WE can do it.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Never Underestimate the Power of Mothers of Gays!

Yes, we want the best for our gay children. We're proud of them. But we're left out when it comes to seeing them get married. I can't tell you how many weddings I've attended, knowing I can't see my own daughter or my own son share wedding vows with their partners. I dearly love their gay partners and want the best for their futures together.

Monday, June 8, 2009